Too much to say.

It's one of those times where I feel like I have so much to say that has piled up in me but words got stuck in my throat, or my fingers stop moving on the keyboard. Unsurprisingly weird.

Good news is, I've started writing again. I've said that I got my muse back (and he's been loyal and decided to stick around for a while) a couple of weeks ago and I've been toying around some ideas since then. Up until last night, out of the blue, I started writing again. And not even on the laptop, all retro style with a simple pencil and a pad of paper. Sounds promising doesn't it?

The only downside is that I haven't thought that the story that I've started to write would be about a personal life experience from a very recent era of my life. But I'm determined that something good will come out of it.

Aside that, I feel kinda lost. For over almost 10 months, I've dedicated myself to literature, music and movies. Alongside going out, socializing, partying, doing some sports, working exceptionally hard and just living the day as it comes.

With the constant feeling of emptiness. So solid, hard rock, in the middle of my chest. An emptiness that was filled with a surprise on March 27th and even manages to last after 4 months.

I want that surprise back for good. Forever.

Becoming Jane.

I've always loved Jane Austen. I've always loved reading her books. I have no idea how much of it is actually based on her real life but I've always enjoyed watching "Becoming Jane". It's one of those movies that I don't get sick of. Not only it's about one of the most rebellious young woman of her time but also because the characters were portrayed so gracefully. And of course, I'm a sucker for 19th century romance. But that's just additional info.

And here they are, the ever beautiful Anne Hathaway and the charming James McAvoy.



Ah. This melts my heart.

Poor Oranjes!

Yes they lost. What a game that was! I was sitting on the edge of my couch all night, not being able to wink an eye. And the truth is, the Dutch like to play it dirty baby. 5 yellow cards and a red card. Smooth work. But hey, we still love the Oranje.

A colleague of mine bought me a pack of oranges on Monday. Ha. Funny. I ain't laughing.

But anyways, Spain has always had a soft spot in my heart so I'm not that sad that it was them who won the World Cup. After all, it was their first time and I have to agree that they deserved it!

And how cute is this?! What a charming couple!

Wij houden van Oranje! THE FINAL!

And the big game is gonna start in about an hour! Too hyped, too excited!!!! Oranjes Rock! I know nothing about football and I don't really care to learn but it's the end of World Cup 2010 and Netherlands is playing against Spain! How exciting is that?

I'll cross my fingers and do all the itsy bitsy jinx that I possibly can while watching it. Ah, can't wait!!

And here it comes, from André Hazes, Wij Houden Van Oranje!!

Muse.

I have the most unfaithful complicated relationship with my muse. Seriously, it's even worse than some of the worse relationships I've had. It has gotten to a certain point that it's not even funny anymore.

You know the type of boyfriend - or version of man that you try to label as boyfriend but you never can because you never know where he stands in your life - that comes when you least need or want him but disappears into thin air in the first sign of you needing them?

Meet my muse.

I can't believe that it's coming at the very uncalled times, when I'm busy with work AT work or when I'm in no condition to write - in a meeting mostly- but disappears when I'm finally able to give my full attention and love to it and sit behind the laptop. Just like now. On a rainy Saturday afternoon when I have absolutely nothing else to do.

I've decided to cut loose with those kind of men in my life a while ago and actually succeed so far doing it.

But my muse, it's a different kind of story. It has its hooks deep in me. And I'm gonna fight for it.

Let's see how it goes!

Wij houden van Oranje!

Watching the Netherlands and Uruguay game on World Cup 2010. GO ORANGES!!!

When I was living in Netherlands back in 2006, there was the World Cup again. The Dutch team haven't made it that much back then but still I have witnessed the raw excitement of the supporters - mostly drunk and all dressed in orange - everywhere.

Netherlands is a country that holds a very dear place in my heart and besides all the reasons that I should support them, I support Netherlands for the deep roots it has in me..

I wish all the luck to the Dutch team for the semi-finals! See you in the finals Oranje!

And as a memory from those days here comes the cute Albert Heijn commercial from 2006: Wuppie lied!

Major writer's block.

I don't really feel like writing.

I've lost my muse. Completely gone, probably running for the hills now. I can't believe it. I haven't written ANYTHING in a very long time that it started to affect my mood. I don't really feel happy. I WANT to write, I KNOW what I will write but it just doesn't come out. I feel the words shaping, I see the scenes in my head but they evaporate whenever I make a mere attempt at sitting behind a computer to write. This sucks big time.

I have concentration problems. I'm usually fidgety because of work (like right now when I brought home some work that I'm supposed to do but I don't want to and will probably feel guilty tomorrow and mentally hit myself in the head for being lazy and not doing anything). And I'm just so distracted.

Argh whatever. I should go read some book. That will help just a little maybe.