Wij houden van Oranje! THE FINAL!

And the big game is gonna start in about an hour! Too hyped, too excited!!!! Oranjes Rock! I know nothing about football and I don't really care to learn but it's the end of World Cup 2010 and Netherlands is playing against Spain! How exciting is that?

I'll cross my fingers and do all the itsy bitsy jinx that I possibly can while watching it. Ah, can't wait!!

And here it comes, from André Hazes, Wij Houden Van Oranje!!

Muse.

I have the most unfaithful complicated relationship with my muse. Seriously, it's even worse than some of the worse relationships I've had. It has gotten to a certain point that it's not even funny anymore.

You know the type of boyfriend - or version of man that you try to label as boyfriend but you never can because you never know where he stands in your life - that comes when you least need or want him but disappears into thin air in the first sign of you needing them?

Meet my muse.

I can't believe that it's coming at the very uncalled times, when I'm busy with work AT work or when I'm in no condition to write - in a meeting mostly- but disappears when I'm finally able to give my full attention and love to it and sit behind the laptop. Just like now. On a rainy Saturday afternoon when I have absolutely nothing else to do.

I've decided to cut loose with those kind of men in my life a while ago and actually succeed so far doing it.

But my muse, it's a different kind of story. It has its hooks deep in me. And I'm gonna fight for it.

Let's see how it goes!

Wij houden van Oranje!

Watching the Netherlands and Uruguay game on World Cup 2010. GO ORANGES!!!

When I was living in Netherlands back in 2006, there was the World Cup again. The Dutch team haven't made it that much back then but still I have witnessed the raw excitement of the supporters - mostly drunk and all dressed in orange - everywhere.

Netherlands is a country that holds a very dear place in my heart and besides all the reasons that I should support them, I support Netherlands for the deep roots it has in me..

I wish all the luck to the Dutch team for the semi-finals! See you in the finals Oranje!

And as a memory from those days here comes the cute Albert Heijn commercial from 2006: Wuppie lied!

Major writer's block.

I don't really feel like writing.

I've lost my muse. Completely gone, probably running for the hills now. I can't believe it. I haven't written ANYTHING in a very long time that it started to affect my mood. I don't really feel happy. I WANT to write, I KNOW what I will write but it just doesn't come out. I feel the words shaping, I see the scenes in my head but they evaporate whenever I make a mere attempt at sitting behind a computer to write. This sucks big time.

I have concentration problems. I'm usually fidgety because of work (like right now when I brought home some work that I'm supposed to do but I don't want to and will probably feel guilty tomorrow and mentally hit myself in the head for being lazy and not doing anything). And I'm just so distracted.

Argh whatever. I should go read some book. That will help just a little maybe.

After work

Best things to do after work:

1. Take a dip in the pool.
2. Sip a glass of wine while reading a good book.
3. Watch Grey's Anatomy reruns!

Perfect Monday evening recipe.

Tom - Wonderwall (X-Factor 2008)

Isn't he just perfect?!

Definitely one of my favorite new artists out there. Amazing amazing amazing.

I guess I'm in the midst of a transition. A transition of my own, trying to find my own path. I have no idea whether it's pathetic or not that at the age of 25, I still am not sure of the one that I already follow. Some times ago, in some magazine or newspaper I remember reading that up until the age of 25, you're allowed to make any drastic change in your life. The ones you do after you get past that milestone, are labelled as irresponsible and immature actions.

I think that is just silly.

I've been trying to stick with the "Keep Calm and Carry on" motto for quite a while now but I think I'm reaching the point in my life where that just doesn't solve anything. How do you know your situation is temporary or permanent? How can you distract one from another? How long can you wait things to go better when you've been constantly feeling miserable and unhappy and unmotivated and incompetent to the point of self-consciousness?

Depressive enough? Welcome to another bad day at work. Is it normal to get your palms sweaty and ice cold, your heart beating faster and tightening in your chest, your blood running cold and drying up in your vessels and your breathing getting unsteady when you think about work? Is it normal for your body to react that way when you stress out from work?

I don't have that much physical reaction when I'm in love, for crying out loud.

And often more than ever, I find myself thinking about just leaving everything behind. Dropping the pen, grabbing the bag and walking out the door. Just like that. No explanations, no reasoning. Just going away. Running away to Guatemala or to Barbados or something. Just live my life. Because apparently, the one that I'm leading started to lack pretty much. At least work wise.

And this was not the life style I'd have chosen for myself if I were smart enough in the first place. I should have stomped my feet and followed my instincts and stuck with what I believe in instead of letting the wind drag me to wherever.

I still have a fair hope in my heart that it's not too late to change.