Another book review!

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


I have mixed feelings. I tried so hard to get into the spirit of the book but i failed each and every time. That's why I forced myself to sit down finish more than half of it in a couple of hours. And I hate it when I have to feel like I need to finish a book, not because I can't tore myself away from it but because I need to get it out of my sight and mind as soon as possible.

I like reading utopias, from More's Utopia to Orwell's 1984 to Huxley's Brave New World, I read and loved each and every one of them but the characters in Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451 didn't hold my interest at all. Clarisse, Montag, Mildred, Beatty, Faber, Granger.. all strong yet somehow stuck characters for me. Beatty and Faber were my favorites among the rest but yet again, they were not enough.

Maybe if I read this book in a different time under different circumstances, it might have been more enjoyable, though, I still highly doubt that. For me, for a book to have meaning, it should leave a mark, make a change on my perception, if nothing else, just remind itself to me at the most unexpected moments, take a hint from the everyday life and remember one of the characters. In short, become a part of me.

I don't think I had such bond with this book.



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Outrageous

This is seriously outrageous. I haven't been around on here more than a month?! I'm ashamed of myself. Always have plenty to tell with so little enthusiasm or time to do so. This literally sucks.

I'm worse than my surprise sometimes. I keep saying I will write every time I neglect it here but I don't. I just get lazy and I'm always busy. And I just don't bother writing. Probably the same as my surprise does. Or so I think.

Well, it figures. Pot calls the kettle black.

Book Review - Amin Maalouf

Le dérèglement du monde : Quand nos civilisations s'épuisent by Amin Maalouf

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


Enlightening. Maalouf did an excellent job portraying today's world, both East and West, from cultural, ethical, religional point of views, staying in the middle with equal distances to every side. Although he emphasized in almost every other chapter that the opinions he was standing up for was solely and totally are of his own, between the lines, those were also the opinions he wished every human being had deep down.

I was especially impressed with the modern-day utopia he had built in the epilogue, an utopia where obviously he had wanted European Union to be the America of the old continent and America to be the America "everyone dreamed of". That these nations were obliged to design a whole new world order in order to survive. Where, once implemented, every other nation in the world would be willing to follow through because they would believe it really is for their own good. I'm not sure how much of it I would agree but that is a genuinely strong point of view that should be seriously considered.

In summary, it's an excellent book to read and know about the recent developments in the Middle East, West and Far East countries and to see the effects of the politics forced upon every third world nation by America and Europe.



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Sick and lazy.

Since last weekend I've been meaning to sit on my ass and type some stuff but I've been suffering from laziness. And today I have the lamest but the most valid excuse in the world: I'm sick! Not sick sick, but sick that triggers laziness even more. Like all you want to do is lay on the couch, drink tea, eat chips (random craving -not with tea because apparently that would taste just horrible) and watch movies. Scratch movies: I'm too lazy to watch The Men Who Stare At Goats, or Black Dahlia or Frankie and Johnny. Best fix for a rainy Saturday night could be to catch up a good TV show. I've been strangely drawn into the world of True Blood thanks to my cousin so I think it's a good choice for tonight.

Next is The Tudors. Sigh. If only Scotty could beam me up to 16th century!

Or turn me into a vampire. Wait. Scotty can't do that, I need some Edward or Lestat..

And I was supposed to gloat about my Nev concert last weekend! And the Scorpions concert as well!

Oh dear laziness!

..

An emotional day for me. An emotional time. No matter how deep I bury it, it is something that I will always remember and never be able to forget.

It sounded next to impossible just a year ago, that one day i'll be able to move on, but I managed. I'm grateful for that.

God, please forgive me.

Grey's Anatomy

I can not believe I have never watched Grey's Anatomy before but I've been hooked to it for the past couple of months. It literally makes me cry and as far as I can remember, I haven't cried for any TV Series ever since the last episode of The O.C.

Yeah I'm sappy like that.

Event Of The Day: Update

So today I got the call from the napkin guy. He sounded quite weird on the phone, I said I gave my phone number because I wanted to thank properly for his compliment. Turns out, he was a Brazilian who was in the town to watch the FIBA basketball games. Coming from the other side of the ocean for the games! Anyway, he suggested we should meet and have a dinner in the same place I was at yesterday. Said, thank you for the invite but I'll pass and that it wasn't really my thing to meet with strangers whom I basically don't know at all. He was like "Yeah thought we could just chat, have a dinner and if you don't want to you can just leave after an hour so." Sounded too much like someone who was looking for a one night stand. I just said thanks and enjoy the city and hung up. Duh.

I did that once but the situation was entirely different. No one can be like my surprise.

Event Of The Day

This was a first.

So as today being a holiday, decided to visit my dear cousin in downtown for a brunch. So he, his best friend and I had this lovely brunch and then went to Tunel for a cup of coffee. Everything is just normal till here.

We were playing around with his new camera taking silly photos of each other and having a laugh. Just another normal day. Right across the cafe we were sitting there was another group of people sitting in another cafe, whom we barely noticed. The barely noticed part is because one of them owned this huge camera and was taking pictures. And I was like "Doesn't everyone own one of these these days?" That's the barely noticed part.

What is weird about this abnormally normal story up until now is, an hour or so later, one of the men approached our table, put a napkin right in front of me and said "please don't ask any questions and read this and don't get me wrong, thank you." or something like that. I was way too baffled to actually register what he said.

Anyway, we open the napkin and here's what it says:




Isn't it just hilarious?!

So just for the fun of it, I called the hotel to ask for the room and the receptionist said he was out for the US - Russia basketball game but he informed them for my call. Talk about confidence! And I said I have no messages. But then decided to call again a couple of minutes ago and give my name and number. Curiosity kills the cat! I have no intention, I barely remember the face but I'm just wondering what he has to say. That's about it.

That doesn't make me a necessarily bad person now, does it? All for the fun of it!

Back!

So I have been MIA since my surprise. I've been just overwhelmed with work, as it always is before every single holiday of mine.

And the surprise was back as told before, and he was back for good. What I mean is, he decided to come and visit me and we ended up having this amazing short holiday in Bodrum with my friends. It was a lot of fun.

Why am I writing this like a 10 year old's diary I have absolutely no idea.

I don't really feel the need to talk and talk and analyse.. I just want to live and I DO live. I just take the moment and try to make the best of it. Don't want to dwell about future, don't want to overthink everything. I just want to give it a chance and see where it will take us. You never know what happens. Life is just too unpredictable and almost never goes according to your plans. I'm happy and I want to enjoy my life.

And he makes me smile!

My surprise is back!

It always happens at the very unexpected moment.

The one thing you've been waiting for, the one thing you've been wishing for, the one thing that you've been thinking of every single day and night happens. It happens when you least expect it.

It hits you out of nowhere, it knocks the breath out of you, you start to stutter, the words tumble in your mouth, can't fully become a sentence, your heart beats so rapid, your head starts spinning, your hands start shaking. You want to pee. Your lungs feel like exploding. Your body demonstrates every possible physical reaction. Simply, your whole world turns upside down.

It always happens at the least expected moment. But it always makes you happy. And it never seizes to surprise you.

And it always happens when you have geniunely started to consider letting go.

Statistics.

Two of my ex boyfriends got married in the past two years. The ones that I knew and heard of. One, very expected considering his nature. The second, highly unexpected considering his past.



I'm really happy for the second, though he had given his share of grief to me in the brief period we've dated. I always knew he never meant bad deep down. And he totally deserves it. I hope he'll have a lovely marriage. (Can lovely be used as an adjective to describe a marriage?)

The first one however, nah, not that happy for him. Not saying he didn't deserved it, not saying he was bad (more likely I was bad for him). But I think(and I guess I always will) that he just jumped into it just to get married. Not an action I can ever approve. I can maybe but just maybe, envy him, just slightly. Tiny tiny bit. And yes, he had proposed to me but I was 19 for Christ sake, of course I didn't take him seriously. Oh wait, he did propose once more when I was 21. Yet here I am at 25, but I'll still think it twice before I would say yes (that is of course, if I was really really deeply madly truly in love with him). Which I wasn't. I liked him a lot though.

P.S. The first and second by any means do NOT connotes them being my first and second boyfriend. Per contra, they are labeled on their chronological order of appearance in my life as well as the latest news I've got from them.

Chasing Harry Winston = Just Another Version of SATC

I liked Lauren Weisberger very much in her first book, "Devil Wears Prada." The characters were great, the whole story was intriguing and the pages flew.

Not with Chasing Harry Winston. The story is about 3 best friends who vow to change theirs lives in the next year. Leigh doing something totally out of her character, Emmy sleeping around with random men and Adriana having a committed, exclusive relationship which might lead to a possible marriage.

The story started with Leigh, a pretty neurotic type, who got everything she could have but suffered from a common dissatisfaction. Classic, late twenties woman. She has a great job, great apartment, great friends and a lovely fiancé whom she loved but wasn't in love with. To the point of getting disgusted just kissing him. So then there goes the inevitable and she has an affair with her new author - the ever so sexy and mysterious Jesse Chapman and decides to break up with her fiancé because she just thinks it's wrong to have a relationship based on lies. How surprising. I'm shocked.

Then there's Emmy. The serial monogamist, loves to cook, hopeless romantic. Dumped by long - term boyfriend for a 22 year old virgin cheerleader. While she's about to get depressed, her friend make her promise that she won't jump into the next relationship and have a little fun, while travelling the world for her new job that she declined so she didn't have to leave that prick boyfriend of hers alone. So she has quite a few affairs which are not totally worth of knowing and then there's this one stranger who turned her down which is worth noting since he'll be having a comeback at the end of the story. Oh and of course, her ex-boyfriend comes back to him and asks to reconcile. Without even saying sorry - how rude! And Emmy, glowing with the newly found confidence because of her random affairs (you can't call them hook - ups or flings!) she just smiles and tells him to get the fuck out. Way to go Emmy, you make us all proud.

And of course there's Adriana. The girl born with a silver spoon in her mouth. A socialite, who never worked a single day in her life to save her soul. So she knows a whole nine yards about men since she's Brazilian (really the nationality doesn't matter, it takes only that amount of men for women to know what they need to know). And I have to admit she's quite the attention whore, half the things she does is just to catch the gawks of highly aroused men who stare at her open-mouth. Really? I mean you're 30 and you still need that? I'm not saying that every women likes to be looked and appreciated at, hell, we love it but seriously, doting your life to that? I don't know you but it screams self - conscious from head to bottom to me. But anyways, so she mesmerizes this future promising film director and he just worships the ground she walks on. Yet, he's quite the geeky boring type. One day at a dinner party, she sits next to this important women from Marie Claire, who apparently know a lot about running a magazine but so few about men. Adriana gives her tips on how to attract a guy and surprise surprise it works! And since the magazine lady has been so desperate for god knows how long, she's ecstatic that the advice has its results and offers a column on the web edition of the magazine. Our little Adriana now become a woman. * Teary eyes* And they even offer a better job to her in LA in a matter of months and she whisks off to the other side of the country. Admitting defeat beforehand, saying she won't be able to stay in a committed relationship when there are a lot of fish in the sea in the new town. Yeah yeah.

So if I must altogether make a comparison of the characters, I'd say Leigh is the new Miranda, Emmy is the new Charlotte and Adriana is the new - of course - Samantha. With such shallow personalities that all three women from the epic "Sex and The City" are Greek philosophers.

A definite beach reading, recommended for the ones who just want to enjoy losing a couple of hours in an alternate world and not think of anything else. But don't expect anything more than that. Not every chick - lit has the lit part in it.

Chasing Harry Winston

So Lauren Weisberger's latest book from 2008 has been what I was reading this past week. I have yet around 50 pages before I'm finished.

I usually prefer reading easy stuff like chick-lit in the summer. This country is too hot in the summer to read anything more literate than that!

Will be sharing opinions later on.

Currently Reading thingie right there --->

I have no idea how I couldn't think of it before since I'm a total geek when it comes to books and literature. I have to give all the credit to this fascinating blog that I just came across. Not only I ended up following the blog itself after having my eyes literally sparkle at the contents of it but I also happened to stole the idea of her "Currently Reading" gadget.

I hope I won't be pissing off anyone by doing that but it was just something I got to have.

I normally jab on anything and everything on this small blog of mine and from time to time I'd be about books. It's not only about them (and since I have not yet started talking about my love life, I have PLENTY to tell) but books cover a great aspect of my life ever since I started reading at the age of 5.

I can talk for hours about my love for books and anything literature and I'm mainly known as the Rory Gilmore of the family. And yes I take books everywhere with me. Literally everywhere, work, wedding, party, night out with friends, gym, concert.. My friends were nearly having a heart attack when they saw me pulling out To Kill A Mockingbird from my bag at a Rihanna concert.

So yeah, that's how addicted I am to books in the most basic meaning of the word. Therefore, I'd like to introduce you to my Currently Reading thingie on the right side.

Enjoy!

P.S. The picture above is painted by my lovely mother while she was copying the works of famous artists. I don't know who really painted the original one but my mom redid the whole face, saying it could be me and me only.

Gilmore Girls.

How can one be over sensitive and cry her eyes out after watching the final episode of a show she's seen way too many times?

Put me on the couch and Gilmore Girls on DVD and there you have it. I can't believe I was literally sobbing, watching the final episode of Season 7, "Bon Voyage". I believe I showed my emotions way more than the Rory Gilmore herself!

From start to finish, Gilmore Girls has been a phenomenon in my life, the first time I have watched the whole series back in 2003 - 2007, it captured my devoted attention and love. From its quirky town characters to every single word exchanged between Lorelai and Rory, the depth of the story, the tiniest detail of their life story of 7 years, the series has inspired and shaped my life in more ways than I can count. Lorelai and Rory Gilmore basically become my extended family and even to this day, I'm having a hard time thinking that it was just a TV show and not real life.



And Stars Hollow. A utopia for me. If someone said that such a town exist somewhere in the world and if I would like to move there, all I'd say would be when the next plane is.

For the past year, I watched and admired and envied and got inspired by the lovely Gilmore Girls again and again. I wish I could have the chance to be a part of that lovely group of people, of course, starting with the ever so beautiful Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel. Seriously, if I was a guy, I'd have stalked her to marry me.

Anyways, I know deep down that I'll always think that Lorelai and Rory are still out there in Stars Hollow, Lorelai running the Inn (with the new Spa feature Emily has been talking about) and married to Luke and Rory becoming a successful reporter in the New York Times (because the campaign of Obama was a success and her reports were just so good that the Times offered her a position. Duh.)

If only Rory and Logan would be together. Sigh.



I can say loud and proud, that Gilmore Girls is and will always be, my favorite TV show. Ever.

Too much to say.

It's one of those times where I feel like I have so much to say that has piled up in me but words got stuck in my throat, or my fingers stop moving on the keyboard. Unsurprisingly weird.

Good news is, I've started writing again. I've said that I got my muse back (and he's been loyal and decided to stick around for a while) a couple of weeks ago and I've been toying around some ideas since then. Up until last night, out of the blue, I started writing again. And not even on the laptop, all retro style with a simple pencil and a pad of paper. Sounds promising doesn't it?

The only downside is that I haven't thought that the story that I've started to write would be about a personal life experience from a very recent era of my life. But I'm determined that something good will come out of it.

Aside that, I feel kinda lost. For over almost 10 months, I've dedicated myself to literature, music and movies. Alongside going out, socializing, partying, doing some sports, working exceptionally hard and just living the day as it comes.

With the constant feeling of emptiness. So solid, hard rock, in the middle of my chest. An emptiness that was filled with a surprise on March 27th and even manages to last after 4 months.

I want that surprise back for good. Forever.

Becoming Jane.

I've always loved Jane Austen. I've always loved reading her books. I have no idea how much of it is actually based on her real life but I've always enjoyed watching "Becoming Jane". It's one of those movies that I don't get sick of. Not only it's about one of the most rebellious young woman of her time but also because the characters were portrayed so gracefully. And of course, I'm a sucker for 19th century romance. But that's just additional info.

And here they are, the ever beautiful Anne Hathaway and the charming James McAvoy.



Ah. This melts my heart.

Poor Oranjes!

Yes they lost. What a game that was! I was sitting on the edge of my couch all night, not being able to wink an eye. And the truth is, the Dutch like to play it dirty baby. 5 yellow cards and a red card. Smooth work. But hey, we still love the Oranje.

A colleague of mine bought me a pack of oranges on Monday. Ha. Funny. I ain't laughing.

But anyways, Spain has always had a soft spot in my heart so I'm not that sad that it was them who won the World Cup. After all, it was their first time and I have to agree that they deserved it!

And how cute is this?! What a charming couple!

Wij houden van Oranje! THE FINAL!

And the big game is gonna start in about an hour! Too hyped, too excited!!!! Oranjes Rock! I know nothing about football and I don't really care to learn but it's the end of World Cup 2010 and Netherlands is playing against Spain! How exciting is that?

I'll cross my fingers and do all the itsy bitsy jinx that I possibly can while watching it. Ah, can't wait!!

And here it comes, from André Hazes, Wij Houden Van Oranje!!

Muse.

I have the most unfaithful complicated relationship with my muse. Seriously, it's even worse than some of the worse relationships I've had. It has gotten to a certain point that it's not even funny anymore.

You know the type of boyfriend - or version of man that you try to label as boyfriend but you never can because you never know where he stands in your life - that comes when you least need or want him but disappears into thin air in the first sign of you needing them?

Meet my muse.

I can't believe that it's coming at the very uncalled times, when I'm busy with work AT work or when I'm in no condition to write - in a meeting mostly- but disappears when I'm finally able to give my full attention and love to it and sit behind the laptop. Just like now. On a rainy Saturday afternoon when I have absolutely nothing else to do.

I've decided to cut loose with those kind of men in my life a while ago and actually succeed so far doing it.

But my muse, it's a different kind of story. It has its hooks deep in me. And I'm gonna fight for it.

Let's see how it goes!

Wij houden van Oranje!

Watching the Netherlands and Uruguay game on World Cup 2010. GO ORANGES!!!

When I was living in Netherlands back in 2006, there was the World Cup again. The Dutch team haven't made it that much back then but still I have witnessed the raw excitement of the supporters - mostly drunk and all dressed in orange - everywhere.

Netherlands is a country that holds a very dear place in my heart and besides all the reasons that I should support them, I support Netherlands for the deep roots it has in me..

I wish all the luck to the Dutch team for the semi-finals! See you in the finals Oranje!

And as a memory from those days here comes the cute Albert Heijn commercial from 2006: Wuppie lied!

Major writer's block.

I don't really feel like writing.

I've lost my muse. Completely gone, probably running for the hills now. I can't believe it. I haven't written ANYTHING in a very long time that it started to affect my mood. I don't really feel happy. I WANT to write, I KNOW what I will write but it just doesn't come out. I feel the words shaping, I see the scenes in my head but they evaporate whenever I make a mere attempt at sitting behind a computer to write. This sucks big time.

I have concentration problems. I'm usually fidgety because of work (like right now when I brought home some work that I'm supposed to do but I don't want to and will probably feel guilty tomorrow and mentally hit myself in the head for being lazy and not doing anything). And I'm just so distracted.

Argh whatever. I should go read some book. That will help just a little maybe.

After work

Best things to do after work:

1. Take a dip in the pool.
2. Sip a glass of wine while reading a good book.
3. Watch Grey's Anatomy reruns!

Perfect Monday evening recipe.

Tom - Wonderwall (X-Factor 2008)

Isn't he just perfect?!

Definitely one of my favorite new artists out there. Amazing amazing amazing.

I guess I'm in the midst of a transition. A transition of my own, trying to find my own path. I have no idea whether it's pathetic or not that at the age of 25, I still am not sure of the one that I already follow. Some times ago, in some magazine or newspaper I remember reading that up until the age of 25, you're allowed to make any drastic change in your life. The ones you do after you get past that milestone, are labelled as irresponsible and immature actions.

I think that is just silly.

I've been trying to stick with the "Keep Calm and Carry on" motto for quite a while now but I think I'm reaching the point in my life where that just doesn't solve anything. How do you know your situation is temporary or permanent? How can you distract one from another? How long can you wait things to go better when you've been constantly feeling miserable and unhappy and unmotivated and incompetent to the point of self-consciousness?

Depressive enough? Welcome to another bad day at work. Is it normal to get your palms sweaty and ice cold, your heart beating faster and tightening in your chest, your blood running cold and drying up in your vessels and your breathing getting unsteady when you think about work? Is it normal for your body to react that way when you stress out from work?

I don't have that much physical reaction when I'm in love, for crying out loud.

And often more than ever, I find myself thinking about just leaving everything behind. Dropping the pen, grabbing the bag and walking out the door. Just like that. No explanations, no reasoning. Just going away. Running away to Guatemala or to Barbados or something. Just live my life. Because apparently, the one that I'm leading started to lack pretty much. At least work wise.

And this was not the life style I'd have chosen for myself if I were smart enough in the first place. I should have stomped my feet and followed my instincts and stuck with what I believe in instead of letting the wind drag me to wherever.

I still have a fair hope in my heart that it's not too late to change.

Tom Dice - My New Favorite

Absolutely loved this song. Maybe not winner material but this song captured my heart. Tom Dice to touch my soul with his incredibly soft voice. And I haven't even seen his performance, just heard a couple of strings of his guitar on TV and I fell in love with his talent. Go figure.

Greetings

Out of everything else, recently, I've started to have this unbearable desire to find a space on somewhere, anywhere, to post about whatever goes through my - quite fascinating or may I say random - mind. It can be about anything and everything, I have no idea. It can be about me, about a friend, about a love, about an old flame, about family, about a food, about a book, about a star or about all of them in one rambling. Something that inspires me, something as a result of another leap of action. Another consequence.

And the name. Unmistakable in a Weird World. It just came up to me, a merge of two of my favorite songs. We all live in a Weird World, a world which we barely notice its weirdness through our everyday hectic lives - if that makes sense at all. And we all look for that one unmistakable person to feel complete. To face this weird world with us, beside us. Maybe cliché, but true nonetheless. Out there somewhere, maybe in the other side of the world for all I know.

Here we go.